
Back when I was a toddler
- I often daydream of the times she vied to pay for her ride whenever my siblings and I would pick her up to develop her photos or shop around at K-Mart, the taste of her weird brands of Mexican or Asian candy from her purse, and even the smell her makeup and perfume from her Filipino kisses (sniffs?).
- Her room at my aunts house is used primarily for storage but her bed, clothes, photos, books, and jewelry are still in place. I’ll slowly open the door and walk in hoping she’d be taking a midday nap, just like I used to do when she was still alive. She would tell my siblings and me stories of when she cared for her siblings, married my grandpa, had kids, and yet somehow always ended with how her mom died when her little brother was born, and how she had to learn to grow up.